Bathing Suit Season....

It robs you of your dignity.

I mean, am I right or am I right? For those of you out there that have never struggled with your weight, please disregard this post and check back in a few days. For those of you that do struggle, you know what I'm talking about.

It's one thing to head to the beach with your family and surround yourself with strangers that don't see you on a day-to-day basis and know what you look like in "real clothes" with your hair fixed and make-up on. It's another thing to swim at the same pool as all of your former students and their moms...

I've been babysitting this summer (which has been great), but they are members of a country club where literally 75% of my former students go during the summer to swim. I feel like I should walk in with sunglasses, my jogging suit, and some type of weave in my hair so no one will notice who I am. But sure enough, as soon as I run to my chair and sit down as quickly as I can before anyone notices what I look like in a swimsuit I hear:

"Mrs. McKinney, is that you?"

or

"I heard you weren't coming back next year... why not?"

or

"I didn't know you were a member here!"

It's so embarrassing, because I'm used to seeing these kids and parents at school with a fully covered outfit and make-up on, not a swim suit with no make-up and greased up hair. You think I might be exaggerating, but go with me to a pool scene only a few short weeks ago. We were eating lunch out by the pool and I was talking to a mom/friend while a few little girls sat with us eating their lunch....

Me: "I just decided I was going to have to get used to being in a bathing suit around everyone this year and get over my paranoia..."

Mom Friend: (who is just trying to be nice) "Oh girl you look great!"

Me: "Well you haven't seen me without my cover up on."

Little Girl (who doesn't even look up from her chicken finger): "It ain't pretty."

 (And takes another bite of chicken.)

This reminds me of a song Lindsay (Dean) Meek shared with me back in the college days called, "I'm Sorry That I Got Fat. I Will Slim Down." No joke.... that was the name of the song. You'd think this would motivate me to get moving and start training for a half marathon again or set some type of goal to get me out of this funk, but I'm having a rough time.

Any of you women out there feel me on this?

So to my sweet husband Trey I ought to say: "I'm sorry that I got fat honey. I will slim down."

(Starting Monday.)

OR.... I may grow up to look like this:

(Props to Martina on taking this fabulous picture while at the beach!)